Pride Month — Doing It Right

by Paul Varnell

First published May 25, 2005, in the Chicago Free Press.

The celebration of gay pride originally confined to the end-of-June Gay Pride parades has now expanded to include the entire month of June as Gay Pride Month, so it seems appropriate to say something about the celebration of gay pride and how to do it better.

Over the years I have held a variety of views about gay pride:

1. Being gay is simply a natural characteristic like having blue eyes or brown hair. There is no rational basis for feeling pride about things that are just the way we turned out and that we had nothing to do with accomplishing.
2. Gay Pride is a healthy and reasonable response for gays in a society where many people still view being gay as something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about or discreetly silent about. It promotes a positive message to closeted gays and skeptical heterosexuals to counter and neutralize the negative messages promoted by anti-gay elements.
3. Although being gay is not itself a valid basis for pride (see No. 1), people can take legitimate pride in how well they handle being gay: How comfortable they are with being gay, how well they integrate being gay into their character and daily life, how adeptly they deal with other people, how much they achieve as an openly gay person.
4. Gay Pride is so 1970s. The slogan was invented back when the main gay activist goal was to lure gays out of the closet and promote a healthy self-esteem. But our current goals are civic and social equality for gays and gay relationships. The old slogan doesn't address those newer goals. Instead it sounds as if we were stuck in some sort of narcissistic time-warp.

Take your pick.

But what I miss in most organized Gay Pride celebrations is any real effort to go beyond the mere assertion of gay pride, any sense that something follows from that either to solidify the gay pride we assert or to give gay pride some focus or direction. It is as if we satisfy ourselves with shaking our pompoms and shouting “Gay Pride.” But what follows from that?

So it seems to me that our gay communities should make some effort to use Gay Pride Month to promote our goals, increase our effectiveness, heighten our awareness, lure people into greater involvement and promote community contacts.

I was led to this line of thought when a friend recently asked if there were any Gay Pride Month events that were “must see.” I honestly could not think of any. That surprised me. And I think we are missing an opportunity. For instance:

• Some political, business or social service groups could invite a well-known gay or gay-supportive figure to give a speech on an important current gay issue. Think, for instance, of Barney Frank, Camille Paglia, Gavin Newsom, Andrew Sullivan or Evan Wolfson. The idea is to have an event that would draw a large number of people, stimulate thought and add to their political/social awareness.
• Gay and gay-friendly religious groups could join together to hold an ecumenical Gay Pride Month religious or “spirituality” service. Many people are religious or “spiritual” and such an event might help people find ways to integrate their religious beliefs and their sexuality. It might also foster a willingness by the various religious groups to work together toward common goals.
• Gay Pride Month would be a good time to hold an annual community forum featuring four or five prominent local gay community functionaries — political activists, business owners, heads of social service agencies — to discuss “The State of the Gay Community,” share their concerns, answer questions about their businesses or organizations, listen to suggestions and criticism and so forth.
• A few years ago Chicago started a program designating one book that it encouraged everyone to read. Gay communities could do the same thing. The idea is to give everybody one thing in common to provide a basis for conversation. Possibilities: Mary Renault's The Persian Boy, Sheila Ortiz Taylor's Faultline, Eric Marcus' Making Gay History, or George Weinberg's timeless Society and the Healthy Homosexual. I think all of these are in print and in paperback.

If you are not impressed by any of these ideas, create your own. The point is to use Gay Pride Month to create circumstances where gays and lesbians get to know a few more people, learn a little more, develop a greater appreciation of the community they are a part of and experience something in common beyond the mere datum of being gay.

Aristotle observed that statesmen rightly try to promote friendship more than anything else. That would be good advice for our community leaders. People who may not be moved to do anything on their own or for themselves may be more likely do things with their friends and for their friends.